Ok, so...everyone ready to begin?

Mike: Yeah...when I can catch my breath. :P

Micky: Ready!

Emilio: We've gotta find Beth...

(We open in what looks like a series of bright orange and yellow, craggy hills under Zlotnick's greenish skies. It seems like something out of a late 20s Two-Strip Technicolor western. Men in black jumpsuits with odd, angular helmets shove robots, androids, and various strange creatures into caves that go deep in the mines. As they turn around, we see the lights of the Sunshine Cab Company cabs appear from the sky and land on a flat place just beyond the mines.)

Mike: (He stumbles out, looking a tad ill) I'm never going to get used to that.

Emma: (She's also stumbling and almost as green as Zlotnick's sky) How do you do that?

Rocco: (Climbs out of the passenger seat) Do what?

Micky: *Grins, getting out from behind the driver's seat* That was fun!

Emilio: I thought so, too.

Lauren: *Also green* You guys are crazy.

Marlena: (The big three-eyed woman jumps out of the next cab) Ok, what's the deal?

Juniper: (A large potted juniper tree with a football eye seems to "climb" out next) We are here to rescue Miss Beth, are we not?

Emilio: Yeah, before something horrible happens to her!

Iggy: (Waves all four of his purple arms) How are we gonna do that without endin' up bein' slaves, too? They've already taken 'bout half the planet to look for Acjax!

Mike: (Grins) Why don't we jump on the slave bandwagon?

Rocco: (Raises an eyebrow) Come again, mate?

Micky: That grin means he has a brilliant idea.

Emma: I think I know what he has in mind.

Marlena: Could someone let us in? Mind-readin' ain't high on our list of abilities.

Mike: We're gonna dress in jumpsuits, make like slaves, and sneak around in there until we figure out what they've done with Beth.

Rocco: Simple. I like it.

Micky: See, that wasn't so bad.

Mike: Follow me. (The camera follows the group as they sneak around to the front entrance. There's a few guards at the entrance. The moment they turn to the group, everyone ducks back around the rock...except for Juniper, who just sits down where he is. When the camera focuses on the guards, all they now see is a regular, football-less potted fir tree.)

Guard #1: What in the HECK...

Guard #2: What's this doin' here? There ain't any trees around here for keals! (The two guards go up to Juniper to move him or find out what he is. The moment they do, a mist sprays from the plant. The two men cough, then smile a little bit before falling over, unconscious...and still smiling.)

Mike: (Juniper has his football eye as the others rejoin him) Nice work. What did you spray them with, anyway?

Juniper: That is our dream gas. They will have such wonderful dreams, they will not want to wake up for hours.

Rocco: Can you spray me with that stuff next? I could really go for some good shut-eye after this is all over.

Mike: Wanna be a guard, Mick? We're probably the only ones who are gonna pass as them. The rest of you will be our group of slaves.

Micky: I would love to be a Guard!

Mike: (He starts taking off a guard's helmet) Let's go then...huh? (The guard is somewhat human, but a bit too perfect-looking. The other guard looks similar, except for hair and eye color. Mike knocks on the top of his head...and we hear a dull clatter.) Hey, this guy's an android, like you, Emilio!

Marlena: That explains how they got past what little army we have so quickly. They ain't killable with bullets.

Emilio: *Nods* There are a lot of androids around...

Emma: That would explain why they need so much Acjax, too. They aren't just rebuilding their planet. They're rebuilding THEMSELVES.

Mike: (As he pulls the outfit off the guard) Right. (Looks up) Maybe you could be a leader too, Emilio. Say you're some kind of robot inspector.

Emilio: Works for me.

(Cut to inside the mines. The mines are the same orange-yellow color inside, only much duller. It's dim but not too dark, thanks to large lights inside and the lights on Mike and Micky's hats. Mike stops at a tool rack and hands everyone shovels and picks.)

Mike: Ok, gang. Look like you know what you're doin'. (Hands Lauren an electronic device that's hovering on the wall) Lauren, you're startin' to show, so you're gonna be Emilio's assistant. This thing looks like it's some kind of pad.

Lauren: *Nods* Okay.

Iggy: It's a loader pad. Yeah, it's for takin' notes, recordin' data, stuff like that.

Lauren: I can handle that.

Mike: Ok. Maybe Emilio ought to go first. He's the inspector.

Emilio: Right-oh! *moves to the front*

(They go further into the mountains. The walls increasingly become a brighter orange-red. We pass by bedraggled lines of all sorts of creatures. Some look like typical shiny metal robots, others like human-esque androids like Emilio. Some have feathers, some scales, some fur...and some a combination there-of. Some are even plants, like Juniper.)

Mike: Emilio, you seen Beth yet?

Rocco: I hope we find her soon, mate. (He wipes his brow) It's hotter than the Brightstar out here!

Juniper: I feel as if I will need liquid refreshment soon.

Marlena: I always heard the core of Zlotnick was hot enough to roast a drapoel in mid Sun-Time, and now I believe it.

Iggy: I'm gonna start moltin' any second.

Emilio: *Shakes his head; worried* I don't see her yet.

Marlena: (She stops and looks up; Rocco and Iggy run into her) Hey! (As they all pick themselves up) Damn it, I heard somethin'.

Mike: (He stops and listens) Me too. I think it's comin' from (points to a smaller cave just off the main one) that way.

(Mike leads them into the smaller cave. They pass a bunch of slightly rusty mine cars and their tracks, finally coming to what seems like light. We see two figures - one tall, one shorter and familiar - in the intense sunlight as the camera focuses on the end of the tunnel.)

Man: (He's tall and humanoid, like the guards, but wears a little triangular hat like an ice cream man instead of the helmets) Look, Miss Beth, we want you to tell us what your husband knows about the army. We know what camp your wee robots are in.

Beth: How many times do I have to tell you? Emilio may be in with the Leader, he doesn't have dealings with the army!

Man: (As the group makes their way into the sunlight) He is the head of your squadrons, is he not? They're your police and army.

Beth: Well, yes, but...he's peaceful, and the squadrons prefer to be!

Man: I think you know more than you're stating, Miss.

Beth: *shakes her head* I don't!

Mike: (Growls; to Emilio) We've gotta get her outta there without creatin' an incident.

Emilio: Heck with that, I'm rescuing her! *Takes off, headed for Beth and her assailant.*

Man: Miss Beth, I must ask you to... (He turns around...just in time to see Emilio jump on him) Sir!

Mike: (Points his gun at the man) Ok, buddy. Who are you, and why were you treatin' that nice lady like that?

Man: (Narrows his eyes) Who are you? You're not an android, and you're not a commanding officer. (Smirks as Mike's eyebrows go up) Oh yes, did I mention I have an intuitive knowledge of what a creature is...and what he's made out of? I knew you weren't slaves and guards the moment I heard your footsteps.

Emilio: *Growls* You let her go NOW!

Man: Only if you tell me more about the squadrons and how they work.

Emilio: *Shakes the man* I can't think straight! I want Beth back!

Man: Then I'm afraid I'll have to eliminate you. (He reaches up to try to unlock the panel on Emilio's back...but someone brings their gun down on his hand as he does. The two jump apart as the man glares at an angry Micky.)

Micky: Don't. Even. THINK. About. It.

Man: That's it. Second Master Cunland puts all of you under arrest for insubordination and striking an officer! (He runs back into the mine cart area, encountering a group of guards, including the two Mike and Micky attacked at the gate; they're now naked except for underwear) Guards, arrest those...things!

Mike: Shit. Looks like we've gotta make a quick exit.

Micky: It's hasty getaway time!

Marlena: Everyone into the carts! (The group jumps into three carts. Mike is with Emma and Lauren. Micky gets in with Emilio and Beth. The cabbies hop in the last cart. Marlena shoves the last cart as the guards run in, shooting laser blasts.) Come on, get a move on...

Mike: (He sees a rusted lever next to his cart) Let me give you a hand there! (He hits the lever with the butt of his laser gun. The lever makes a loud, rusty squealing sound as it goes down. Slowly at first, the carts start to roll. They finally pick up speed just as guards start to jump into the other carts. Marlena barely has the time to get into the cart with the other cabbies as "Bye Bye Baby Bye Bye" begins.)

(Mike grabs a shovel from a familiar animated duck in a miner's helmet and overalls. Mike duels with the cart of guards behind them, finally knocking the shovel out of the guy's hand and knocking him into the pile of rubble the duck had shovelled. The duck throws a wild, swinging fit as the cart flies by.)

(Marlena grabs a lever as she and the cabbies pass by it. The lever opens a trap door under another cart filled with guards. They go right through it, Goofy-yelling all the way.)

(Mike flashes a pin-up of Raquel Welch as another cartful of guards goes by. Their faces literally get animated as they drool, stamp their legs, and wolf-whistle. They're so busy ogling, they don't see where they're going...onto a side track filled with piles of dirt. More carts fly by as they emerge from the dirt, happily dazed.)

(Iggy grabs four guards out of the two carts they're riding in. He tickles them until they're laughing so hard, they're crying...then throws them into the same open trap door their fellow guards disappeared in, with the same Goofy yell.)

(There's another cart of guards riding Mike, Emma, and Lauren's tail. Emma grabs another lever and switches them off to a side track...but now they're in front of Emilio, Beth, and Micky.)

(Cunland lunges for Emilio...and almost falls out while doing so.)

*Emilio tries the same thing, but Beth grabs his arm, holding him where he is.*

(Cunland grabs a shovel from a surprised miner next to the tracks. He points his at Emilio. En guarde!)

*Emilio's eyes widen He grabs for his own shovel and points it at Cunland! You're on!*

(The two aliens duel fiercely with their shovels, even as the carts continue moving. At one point, Cunland accidentally sweeps three miners off their feet...then points to Emilio and says he did it.)

*Emilio makes a face. I didn't do that!*

(Yes, you did! Cunland lunges for Emilio again, this time knocking a miner over the edge of the cliff and into the darkness below. This time, Cunland has the grace to look embarrassed. Ooops.)

*Emilio just points at Cunland.*

Guard #3: (Shakes Cunland's shoulder as the song ends; he and Emilio have returned to duelling) Um, sir?

Cunland: I'm a little busy here, Third Master Oranna. (Makes a lunge at Emilio's back, trying to get his panel open)

Guard #3: Then I guess you're not interested in the fact that we're about to go over the cliff, and I'm leaving. Bye! (He and the other guard in the cart jump out, rolling to safety near the ledge.)

Cunard: We're....WHAT? (He whips around...to see nothing but ledge and dark air in front of him) Oh merdie!

Mike: (As Marlena pulls another lever, he calls from a side track) Guys, direct it over here!

(They manage to pull the cart into the side track just in time. Their cart slows even as Cunard goes over the cliff. We hear his yelling...and the sound of a "phoomp," a groan, and some kind of alien cursing that may involve landing in a certain kind of underground animal dung.)

Mike: (Sniffs...and makes a face) Man, that ain’t a fate I'd wish on almost anybody.

Rocco: You blokes ok? Miss Beth?

Beth: Better now, thanks.

*Emilio just gives Beth a big hug.*

Mike: Maybe we'd better at least get a move on. Cunard's probably already at least put a bulletin out on us.

Rocco: Sounds good to me, mate. (They all take off, snaring some shovels and flashlight-type devices from the carts.)

(As they leave, the camera moves over to the cliff. We only hear the sound of labored breathing and scraping at first. One dirty, gloved hand pulls itself up to the cliff, then the other, finally revealing a dirty, dusty Cunland. He manages to pull himself up onto the ground, panting and gasping. He sniffs himself and turns a little green, then looks up at the dark, dank air.)

Cunland: (At the top of his lungs) DAMN YOU, SQUADRON ANDROID!

(We fade out as Cunland struggles to his feet, stumbling off to find his men.)